This thing called crush


Okay! I have to clear the air before I’m tagged ‘Dbanj-like’. This is not kissing and telling oh (not that there is any kissing to tell)! I’m only musing.
I was thirteen years old when I first crushed on a guy. He was older, suave and handsome (or so I thought!). I didn’t know it was a crush though. I just found myself terribly ‘crushed’ in his presence: I felt shy and dumb – stringing two words together was BIG work; I’m sure I always bobbed my head like Agama lizard whenever I ran into him and he asked me questions (which was often because he lived in the same street as my parents).
Fortunately (unfortunately?), he was blissfully unaware of my school-girl infatuation (and he still doesn’t know). He treated me much like a kid sister – to my bitter joy – and was/is always kind to me. When he met and married a girl my age mate, years later, I wanted to hate her (by that time, my crush had evaporated but I still saw him as a friend/brother; as someone I had claims to). I could only think: Bitch stole my dude! But she was/is just so nice, and their love for each other was/is pure, transparent and deep (They are the Beyonce and Jay-Z of my world). I found myself liking her and we hit it off. I still see them but my heart no longer beats like the kpo kpo of gongs when I see him.
So when my son started dropping a feminine name in his sentences, I knew he was having his first crush and it was so adorable, so sweet. He would run away when he sees her coming then he would beg me to take him to her house, but when we reach her gate, he will change his mind and demand that we go home. *LOL*.
It’s good to ‘crush’ and be ‘crushed’ on. I’ve had people ‘crushing’ on me and I often wonder: what is there to crush, I am only ordinary. But then, when someone crushes on you, he/she isn’t doing that because you’re an angel. He/she has a crush on you because you’ve done or you’re doing something they like. It could be the way you catwalk/swagger; the way you smile and charm; the way you analyse things intelligently; the way you act (kindly) toward her/him; or the way you dress.
Crushes can’t be justified. It’s one of those flukes of mother-nature – those wonderful (silly?) feelings that mark us as living creatures with blood in our veins and brains that can turn to mush at the thought of loved ones.
I say living creatures because animals do ‘crush’ on themselves, too. That’s why you will see a goat following another goat of the opposite sex about, even when they’ve not started mating. It’s a crush, often-times temporary.
I have ‘crushed’ on (stupid) people that have made me give myself hard knocks later (this girl, what were you thinking?). I have also ‘crushed’ on wonderful people whom I later ‘fell’ out of ‘crush’ with. And I currently have ‘crushes’ for some wonderful people.
However, I thank God, crushes don’t last forever. A month max and I can pass this new crush (on Twitter or Facebook) without giggling or simpering (not that I ever giggle or simper. Those are reprehensible vices!).
Thank God for temporary feelings! Thank God for Crushes!
Bear hugs, Lovers!

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About Egoyibo Okoro

Beautiful. Friendly. Opinionated. Feminist. Scholarly. Apolitical. Christian. Sometimes, I write in Engli-Igbo and/or pidgin English. Just so you know, I am naturally disgruntled about a lot of things, most especially gender inequality, human rights abuses, racism and corruption. #EndChildMarriage. #EndTerrorism. #EndPoverty. #EndRacism. #EndImperialism. The Igbo say, "egbe bere, ugo bere, nke si ibe ya ebena nku kwa ya" - Live and let live!
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4 Responses to This thing called crush

  1. Pingback: News - Crush On Something I Wasn't There For! - Kittysneezes

  2. Pingback: News - Crush On Concerts - Kittysneezes

  3. Always thought Crush was a drink like Panta or Fefsi kola!

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